Categorized | Wheels

2010 Cadillac Escalade, a Class of its own

Posted on 21 October 2009 by .

Today, Rappers and Hip Hop artists are running the show. They tell us to buy big cars with shiny wheels and cool gizmos to impress. In their terms, something known as a ‘bling car’.

2007 Cadillac Escalade AWD SUV

Simply it is just cool to have a car and coolest of all the cars is the Cadillac. In America Cadillac brand has been dying on its feet for years rather like its customers. And thats the problem. Its hard to make a car cool when its driven by either thugs or pensioners.

But when young hip hop generation starts to talk about it then its a different matter.

And its this particular Cadillac that they are all talking about, the Cadillac Escalade. Its now featured in more Rap and R&B lyrics then any other car. Snoop Dog’s got one, Nelly’s got one and so does Missy Elliot, and thats just the tip of the iceberg. Why is it so popular? Well, don’t think because its a good car.

It weighs about 3 tons. Basically, think of putting wheels on a one bedroom house and you just about got it. Then its best to take those corners gently and try not to notice that your miles per gallon are barely in to double figures. American cars usually have pretty rubbish interiors and inside the Escalade is business as usual. Cheap plastics and fake wood doesn’t really make it bling.

The old car’s front-end looked like a kid without candy, but the new one is far more apologetic, with bigger lamps and a slightly slopping grille that bites into the deep front bumper. There are triple strakes in the side vents and triple-strake indicators in the rear lamps; the overall effect is flashier and more like a Cadillac, and it’s harder to see this car sharing space in a gentleman’s garage.

Although the cost effective materials are being used inside yet the layout of the fabulous cabin is new and fresh, bookended by the long spars of fake wood. I would be lying if I don’t adore the interior, the materials have been upgraded – there’s now a full leather headlining big enough to put cows on the endangered species list – but it’s the gadgets that will make the headlines.

The main dials blackout completely, as there’s a dark side to them.There is a huge touch-screen display in the center console that displays all the night clubs around you, and to get there, under the hood is a 403 hp Vortec 6.2L V8 engine with Variable Valve Timing (VVT) and FlexFuel capability. The windows roll up and down with the touch of a button, the radio plays music with a cool screen. In fact, this car is so sophisticated that it could write its own name. Really, its as stupid and as wonderful as owning a pet elephant.

When I ask people, would you rather have a Big Caddy over a Bimmer or a Land Rover? the answer is usually, NO! You see, as a car the big caddy is pretty poor at best. But that really is missing the point. Its magnificence, its popularity lies with its ‘bling’ factor. Lets start with its sheer size. I think range rover is immense but escalade is a full two feet longer, that is full 18 feet to end. People are scared of this car and that is fantastic. Its this bulk which gives it huge presence and charisma.

‘Bling’ is not fashion, its the way of life. The main idea is, its got to be big, its got to be brash and its got to be out there. Everyone will look at you and say, ‘MONEY’. All in, you are wearing and riding your entire bank account.

While I am lost in the craftsmanship and driving of the car I will be missing the really important details. Look at the wheels on those Cadillacs, and just as important are the wheels are the tinted windows. The tints are very important because you want the ‘honeys’ to notice you when you roll the windows down, and the people you don’t want to see are filtered nicely.

Earlier on I moaned that you cannot drive the Escalade quickly and it handles like it is drunk. But in bling terms, that is the whole point. You need to lay back to ride. A bling vehicle will get you from point A to B but you will get to point B very late. Bling is brilliant.              

Why worry about the mortgage and the pension plans when you can put everything you got in to your car. People will think that you got money in your pocket even if you don’t. You can have a car like this and still live with your mom and that is really cool. She will let you park your car outside and even do your laundry. AMAZING!

 

Well, the bling, the charisma and the gigantic presence aside, my question is, What about the Escalade as a machine? You see, Americans are going to Mars but still cannot make a nice reliable car, WhhhhY? You wonder, what’s been gained with the new design, and whether Cadillac has missed a trick by not taking the opportunity to do something more imaginative, or ‘let us choose from a different design’.
The problem with the Cadillac – for people like me, at least – is that no matter how much we bang on about the general pointlessness of big SUVs, to drive one is to want one.
Forgive the early abandonment of objectivity, but its a pretty bloody cool car. 
Its not something I would buy but there is a sense of magic in this car, something we call the ‘X-factor’ and that makes me walk in to one of Cadillac’s showrooms with a bag full of cash and say, “Get my car ready”, and that makes it so cool as a Machine.

 

I understand that it depreciates as fast as it accelerates, its not the fastest car in the world and with sloppy suspension its not a thriller in the corners either, but if you judge a car on how it makes you feel rather than what it can do then Cadillac is a class of its own.

Unlike a Bimmer or a Mercedes which just hums as it goes along, this one feels and it crackles and it sounds like an engine and not like a monk. Think of it as an Italian restaurant, you don’t get the food any faster but its more exciting somehow.

 

Every time I see someone going in an Audi or a BMW I feel like yelling at them, “you have bought the wrong car”. Escalade is such a nice place to be in. You look forward to doing a journey just so you can come and sit in it.

 

So how, you might be wondering, could you afford such a thing.  To try and crunch some numbers to afford a motorized shopping mall with a price tag of almost $100,000 like this, I have come to Thunderbay. Home of the largest fresh water lake in the world. Although with best outdoors yet being far away from any major city in South Ontario, there is a dramatic effect on the real estate market. Generally a 2200 sq-ft house in GTA costs around $350,000, whereas you can get the same for about $150,000 in Thunderbay, A real Bargain Eh! I wonder, then why Canadians go south of the border to look for bargains, when we have steal deals at home. Why spend $2000 a month on a big expensive mortgage, why not move to Thunderbay and spend the money on a big Cadillac. I mean, think about it. Its not as great as Toronto but you will be able to sit inside your very own house knowing that every time you look out of the window, you will be able to see your very own Cadillac.

 

sohaib pic 

 

 Author: Sohaib Zahid

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