Every morning Sheraz* would get up and refuse to go to school. His mornings would start with crying, shouting, wailing and slamming doors. 4 years elder than any of his classmates, he was still slow in learning and had difficulty socializing with his mates. His continuous refusal to attend his school in Grade 5 was very worrisome for his parents; little did they know that their beloved child, youngest of the 4 kids, had no friends at school and was made fun of for his quiet behavior. Some were even cruel enough to call him names like ‘crazy’ or ‘stupid’ or ‘mad.’ Finally his teachers called his parents and requested them to shift his school. The continuous complaints they were getting from other parents about an ‘abnormal’ child attending the school was tainting the school’s reputation. His parents were furious at such conduct; no one was ready to take a stand but still they understood the cultural ramifications. His parents decided to not only leave the town but the country as well. Their child had no future. He was a social outcast and people had started avoiding the family as well. They came to Canada 3 years ago and are happily settled in their new homeland.
Ritu Singarayer
Sheraz* is not an exceptional case. South Asia has thousands of similar stories. People with intellectual disabilities are social outcasts and stigmas to the family. Once the family becomes aware of the special needs of their loved one, they go into denial. Ritu Singarayer of Community Living York South is a Community Support Coordinator that supports people who have an intellectual disability and their families within the Community Living York South Outreach Program. She explains that denial is a common reaction. Families are not ready to accept that their loved one has special needs, and often say their family has been subject to “someone’s bad eye.”
Community organizations like Community Living York South are here to help such families. In 1954, Community Living York South was started by a group of courageous parents who wanted more for their son/daughter.
The organization has been supporting people with intellectual disabilities and their families for over 50 years and is proud to be carrying out their mission successfully, i.e. to support people who have an intellectual disability to live, learn, work and participate in the community.
Although it is a mainstream organization they realize the challenges of cultural barriers. They support people from diverse ethno cultural backgrounds and Ritu specializes in targeting the South Asian Community.
She explains that back home, there is no such thing as developmental services, so when people come to Canada as immigrants, they don’t know that agencies like them exist.
For families here, it is challenging to openly discuss and solicit help for their loved one. This is because of various reasons, culture is one of them.
Ritu further explains that as a community support coordinator she has come across varied perspectives surrounding people who have an intellectual disability, one of which is, “When children are born with a disability, this reflects shame on the entire family, and what families do in turn is keep quiet and hide their child who has been identified with the disability. This is not done intentionally this is the families reaction to protecting their family and their family member with the disability from the scrutiny of the community. However, in actuality what this is doing is decreasing the quality of life of that person.”
In South Asian families, Ritu says there are still some traditional thoughts revolving, “A lot of times the family doesn’t want to seek help. They don’t want people knowing that they have a child with special needs because that not only reflects the child but the entire family. The traditional way of thinking starts taking effect ‘Oh we have a daughter that needs to get married and if they know we have a child with special needs then this might hinder their opportunities in the future.’ So these are thoughts that are still rotating, although, I think that the South Asian community has come a long way.”
She also says that there are other genuine challenges the South Asian community faces, language is one of them. When people want to seek help, they face language barriers; most of the brochures available are in English, and if they don’t understand English then they are out of luck. As a solution, Community Living York South has translated the brochure of their available services in more than 9 languages.
Organizations like Community Living York South are breaking down these barriers and encouraging people to discuss the issues and the problems they face, and finally seek resources for help.
Ritu further elaborates that not only the person with an intellectual disability needs support but often the family also requires support. Parents and siblings are encouraged to be actively involved in the life of their loved one.
They also work in collaboration and partnership with other agencies and service providers to reach out to the community. “The Coordinators present to different schools, organizations and religious institutions to make the community aware of our services.”
Their strategy has worked and they are servicing approximately 300 families in their Direct Services and over 1500 in their Outreach Service, “Our Direct Services include residential support, such as group homes, or supportive independent living, as well as day programs. Then we have the Outreach service. That’s where I come in. We are 5 community support coordinators that support those families and people who have intellectual disabilities that are still living with their parents or family members.” Community Living York South services the Southern York Region (Stouffville, Markham, Thornhill, Richmond Hill, King City, Maple, Woodbridge and surrounding areas).
Community Living York South helps people of all age groups who have intellectual disabilities.
Through the outreach service, they provide parent workshops that bring knowledge to the parents on various subjects, these could be resources for life planning, wills, and other things families need to know about. On March 16th 2010 an RDSP (Registered Disabilities Savings Plan) workshop was provided to families at no cost to them.
They also run Summer programs and March break programs. Fusion Friday Social Club in Vaughan is attracting a lot of attention as well.
Realizing the need for self-image, they also run self-esteem groups for people who have intellectual disabilities.
Ritu says people who have intellectual disabilities find it challenging to build friendships and social networks, “Some of the concerns a parent may bring to us is that they would like their son/daughter to have a friend, a true friend. Other parents want to know more about parenting strategies. So, we will then attempt to partner with an agency that specializes in this area.”
Families who have a son/daughter with an intellectual disability often struggle in building social networks as well, they do not readily have opportunities to network with other community members. To provide networking opportunities, Community Living York South has hosted a number of events and workshops for families to have an opportunity to share their experiences. Last year, they celebrated South Asian Family Day and Chinese New year, “It was a good time for families to come out, interact, have fun and talk about resources, struggles and successes. We had over 200 families in attendance each time. Many families expressed a need for such an opportunity. Families need opportunities to network.”
On April 25th , they are hosting Asian Family Engagement from 2:30-5:30pm at Wilclay Public School in Markham-60 Wilclay Ave.
At Community Living York South, you will be able to get immediate help; there are no waiting lists for our outreach services.
Community Living York South encourages everyone to volunteer, to support people who have intellectual disabilities in being a contributing member of their community. So step up and help out!
You can reach Community Living York South at 1877-737-3475
Author: Saniya Zahid
