Categorized | Satire

An Indian Cougar: Rita Sangha

Posted on 19 May 2010 by .

ME-OW! Cougars are attractive older women over the age of 35 who enjoy dating younger men, usually in their 20’s. This kind of dating behavior is becoming more acceptable in North American society; just look at Ashton Kutcher who married Demi Moore. Ashton went from being a single, good-looking, popular movie star, to marrying a woman 15 years his senior with 2 kids. Hey Ashton, life just called: YOU GOT PUNK’D. But on the other hand, Demi got exactly what she wanted; something shiny on the outside and hollow on the inside. Now if you’re an older woman, particularly a South Asian woman, you might be thinking, “BILLAL! I don’t care how empty his head is! I want my very own Shahid Kapoor!”  Well you’re in luck! (although I can’t say the same for Shahid). Forty year old cougar Rita Sangha, through her “cougar camp” teaches older women techniques to attract younger men (“cubs” as she calls them)

But why would an older woman prefer a younger man? According to Rita Sangha, older women are more comfortable with their sexuality, while younger men are better at performing sexually. By that logic one really wonders how older men get younger women, oh wait, that’s right, CASH! Moving on, Rita says that older men are less dynamic, boring, and have a jaded view of life. I’m not a Doctor, but these seem to be the classic symptoms of a condition known as a “marriage”.

Rita stresses these cougar-cub relationships can be more than just a matter of sexual fulfillment, and that some women have actually fallen in love and gotten married to their younger men. Rita says that she herself does not feel her own age, and actually has more in common with a generation 15-20 years younger. Admittedly, she is a serial cougar having dated a number of cubs, the youngest being 17 years old. Seven-teen may seem like a very tender age, but I’m sure this brave youth will recover from the “traumatic” experience.  Most men are offering him their support and condolences in the form of high-fives.

Now I don’t want you to get the wrong impression; Rita is a feminist at heart and sees herself as a role model. You have to keep in mind that the South Asian community is much more accepting of an older man dating a younger woman than the reverse. Due to her strong views and subsequent career path, Rita finds that she is an outcast in her own cultural community. She prefers not to attend South Asian functions as she quickly becomes a negative, albeit popular topic of conversation.

Rita views the trend of older women dating younger men as a shift in gender roles and power. She feels the South Asian community, as well was the community at large are still adjusting to this shift. Rita says she wants to help women realize that they have certain sexual desires, and that these desires are entirely natural. They shouldn’t cause you guilt, and you shouldn’t have to repress them to appease what she calls a “patriarchal society.”

As personal taste goes, Rita prefers NOT to date young South Asian men referring to them as “immature” (keeping in mind this is on top of being in their 20’s and male). As a young South Asian male I was insulted by that comment, however I then reread all the jokes in this article and decided that maybe, just maybe, she had a point.

On a side note, I personally think the word “cougar” is only associated with older, attractive, WHITE women. We as South Asians need our own way of branding older attractive women as predatory felines. I suggest we call South Asian cougars, “Tigers”, although this may cause unnecessary conflict if the “Tiger” in question happens to be Tamil. You generally run into a similar problem when you refer to Black cougars as “Black Panthers”. As for Asians, the term “Asian Cougar” is an oxy-moron as it is a demonstrable scientific fact that Asian people do not age.

Now for what you’ve been waiting for, here are some of Rita Sangha’s patented tips for getting a younger man:

1. Act like a doormat and you’ll end up on the floor. Never call him, never ask to see him, and never say you love him first. It’s essential to make a younger man think you have a busy life even if you don’t.

2. Never mother him.

3. Make the first move. There is no harm in approaching a younger guy in a bar. Why not try this pick-up line: “I think you should ask me out. This is a limited and exclusive offer.”

4. Get in touch with your sexual being. Visit a Sex shop or take up a sexy pastime like pole dancing.

If you would like to learn more about Rita Sangha visit her website, and join her “cougar camp” at:

http://www.womenwholoveyoungermen.com/

Contact, criticize, converse, or even compliment Billal M. Sarwar at:

bms041788@hotmail.com


Author: Billal Sarwar


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