Meeting Tahniya was as if I was meeting with an individual who was full of life, an individual who can make light of serious issues and joke about them. Comfortable in her skin, she talked to me about religion, about aunties who would talk of successful unmarried girls as if they are diseased, about politics, about culture, about growing up in Ottawa and living in Toronto now.
Born and raised in Ottawa, Tahniya forgot about being a doctor when she discovered how hard it is to get into a med school. At that time, she told herself “ to forget school and get through the university.” Then she pleaded with God to get her through double major in Biology and Biotechnology. She even gave up matching her degrees with her father’s who has worked for the government as well as academia. Her father has PhD in Economics and three MAs. “I don’t try to live by his standards,” she jokes. However she did manage to secure herself a job with Health Canada as a Senior Compliance Officer.
On a more serious note though she believes that Islam as a faith is misunderstood by a large number of people. “A lot of people in our society don’t understand what Islam is and believe that we are along the lines of Hindus because of Pakistan. They don’t realize that Islam is a monotheistic religion,” she said when I asked if religion ever comes up at her place of work. It almost never does, Tahniya says.
Here’s the controversial part. She believes “niqaab should be banned in Canada.” It’s neither necessary nor mandatory. Moreover “anything that creates negative image, why do it?” she says candidly.
Describing her visits to Pakistan, she says “everybody’s chill in Karachi and Pindi is like a pind (village).” She was overwhelmed by poverty and pollution while she was in Pakistan. At one point, she thought about settling in Pakistan. However, she was quickly reminded that she is enjoying all the luxuries in Pakistan because she has Canadian money in her pocket, and was shopping and eating at five star restaurants. Not to forget that there is no electricity in Pakistan and the lights go off almost every hour.
Nonetheless living in Canada has its own challenges. “Marriage is a big issue because you’re in a gora society,” she says. As a successful young professional, Tahniya has invested in real estate and is making good money but every time she bumps into uncles and aunties, marriageability becomes the issue.
The attitudes of elders is “beta abhi tak shadi nahi ki..hum dua karein ge” [Daughter, you’re still not married..we will pray for you] as if I am diseased.
I asked her what the solution to finding the mate is.
naseeb.com, she responds laughingly.
She noted an issue with dating websites and dating events, however. “They are artificial because we try to be this or that in searching for the soulmate,” Tahniya says.
For now, however, Tahniya loves Toronto and its diversity, the places she can go to for sushi, food and desi events.
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