Canada’s favorite season, spring is here and Shiamak Davar, the Guru of Modern Contemporary Dance in India, has a special dance bonanza lined up for you! Students from Shiamak Davar’s Institute are geared up to present the Spring Funk^TM show on 14^th March 2010 at Markham Theatre. The two back-to-back shows (3.00pm and 7.00pm) are sure to leave you craving formore.

Over 500 students are ready to set the stage on fire with their dazzling performances on latest Bollywood blockbuster tracks. The show will present dance styles like Shiamak’s Bollywood Jazz^TM, Rock n Roll, Hip-Hop and many more. The show will also have a special performance by Shiamak’s Victory Arts Foundation (VAF), the non-profit arm of Shiamak’s company dedicated towards empowering people with special needs through dance.

“Spring Funk^TM is an extension of my motto – Have Feet. Will Dance^TM . With these shows I aim to give all my students, no matter what age, size or background, a professional platform to display their dancing talent. Canada has tremendous potential. People are culturally inclined and so enthusiastic to learn dance styles from India, especially Bollywood”, says dance magnate, Shiamak Davar.

The Spring Funk^TM workshop is a unique program, training amateur dancers to perform like confident professionals. Shiamak trains, energizes and reaches out to people from all walks of life. Aged 4 to 85 years, Shiamak’s students attend dance classes in the age groups of 4-6 years for Kids, 7-12 years for Preteens and 13 years and above for adults and perform in front of huge audiences in a professionally run-event complete with majestic set design, props, lights, sound and costume.

BOOK YOUR SEAT NOW!!!!

For ticket reservation, please contact: www.markhamtheatre.ca / 905.305.7469

WHAT TO ASK AT A JOB INTERVIEW

It’s a good idea to ask questions about safety when you go for a job interview. It’s hard to do when you’re nervous, but you need to hear the answers to find out if the employer cares about your safety. Some questions to ask are:

• Will I get job safety training? When will I get it? (It has to be before you do the work.)

• Will I be working with any chemicals? If I’m working with any chemicals, will I get training before I start to use the chemicals?

• Is there any safety gear, like safety glasses, that I’ll have to wear? Do I have to buy the gear or will you give it to me?

• Will I receive training so I know how to wear the safety gear properly and make sure it’s in good condition?

• Will I be told about emergency procedures, what to do if I get hurt, etc.?

WHAT TO DO ON YOUR FIRST DAY OR WHEN ASSIGNED A NEW TASK?

The most important thing is to ask questions. There is no such thing as a dumb question, especially when you’re asking how to do a job that you’ve never done before. ASK until you’re out of questions to make sure you understand clearly the task that needs to be done and

how to do it safely.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU DON’T THINK YOUR WORK IS SAFE?

The OHSA says that if you see something at work that you don’t think is safe, you must tell your supervisor. Do it right away. If you have talked to your supervisor and still think something is

unsafe, you may have certain rights under the OHSA to refuse to do that work until the issue has been resolved. The OHSA says your supervisor must try to resolve the problem before you start working again. In cases in which the supervisor says it’s safe and you still feel it is not, you may still have a right to refuse to work, and a Ministry of Labour inspector must be called to investigate and decide if it’s safe for you to      back to work.

CAN YOU BE FIRED FOR REFUSING TO WORK OR ASKING ABOUT SAFETY?

It is against the law for your employer to punish or fire you for refusing work that you think is unsafe or for expressing a concern about a safety issue. If you feel you have been punished (e.g., were sent home without pay, had your hours drastically cut, were fired), you can report it to the

Ministry of Labour. The ministry will guide you either to your union (if there is one) or

to the Ontario Labour Relations Board.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE INJURED AT WORK

Get first aid right away and tell your supervisor too. Make sure someone tells your supervisor if you can’t. Get medical help. Also, your employer may need to file a notice of the injury with the Workplace Safety & Insurance Board (WSIB) as soon as possible. You might be eligible to receive benefits from the WSIB for any time you miss from work because you got hurt.

http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/brochures/OP2009_english.pdf

_________________________________________________________

Job Fair

DATE:     THURS. MARCH 11, 2010

PLACE:   CENTENNIAL COLLEGE RESIDENCE and CONFERENCE CENTRE

940 Progress Ave, Toronto, ON M1G3T5

(HWY 401 and Markham Rd)

Closest Subway: McCowan Subway, then bus 134 Progress to Centennial College

TIME:     10:00AM – 3:00PM

Jobseeker FREE REGISTRATION:  http://www.nappcanada.com/attendeeregistration.php

ADMISSION:    FREE

PARKING:       FREE

Partial List of Companies Participating:

• PEEL REGIONAL POLICE

• Greyhound Canada/Grey Line

• RBC

• Virtual Engineers – VE Collective Inc. recruiting for engineers: Electrical, Structural, Managers, Systems, Technical

• Recruiting in Motion

• Fox Wireless/ Fox Digital

• G4 Box

• Gardena Food Corporation

• ITW Construction Products/ Paslode Canada

• K7 Marketplace

• Korean Consulate

• Spring Masters

• West Star Printing Ltd.

• Vpi Inc

• Avon Canada

• BIZTECH

• CAF

• Canadian Payroll Association

• Centennial College

• CICS

• Contemporary Computers

• Debt Freedom

• DEVIK PHARMA

• ENS Inc

• Express Personnel

• Ridgestone Construction

• RS and Associates

• Sedna Globe

• Silantia

• Global Financial Associates Inc.

• Heritage Education Funds

• Investors Group

• Marca College

• Jobbeam

• Oxford College

• Primerica

• SunLife Financial

• Sutherland-Chan

• Toronto Jobs
• Zip Graphix
• TRG Field Solutions Canada
• DBA Engineering
• PPL Legal Care of Canada Corp.
• triOS
• Shalom Health Care hiring RN, PSW, RPN, Health aid, Support workers
• CJ Health Care College
• TriCom Security Services
• Uwin Pro

An epidemic of immense proportions is taking place in Africa that takes the lives of millions of people every year.  HIV/AIDS, which is the leading cause of death today in the continent, kills more people than any natural disaster, war, famine, illness or disease.  Yet whereas fighting droughts and bringing military conflicts to an end are fairly difficult, the spread of AIDS could be radically reduced through some relatively inexpensive measures.

The facts are overwhelming.  Inhabited by just over 14.7% of the world’s population, Africa is estimated to have more than 60% of the AIDS-infected population.  In countries like Tanzania, where I visited three years ago, almost 9% of the entire adult population is living with AIDS.  While in Swaziland, a small country located just to the east of South Africa, an incredible 61% of all deaths are caused by HIV/AIDS, and have lowered life expectancy from 61 years in 2000 to only 32 years today.

These deaths don’t only cause incredible suffering, they are eliminating an entire generation of teachers, farmers, scientists and most importantly, parents.  This is leaving millions of children without families to fend for themselves, pushing more young people into poverty.

The best way to reduce the spread of AIDS is three fold: education, education and education.  We may find a full cure for the AIDS virus one day, but until then, we have to take preventative measures, and this means teaching young people what AIDS is, how it spreads and what actions they can take to avoid catching the disease, and this means education.

Uganda is the leading success story when it comes to AIDS prevention and education.  In the early 1990s, almost 15% of citizens were HIV positive.  That number is now about 5%.  The country accomplished this through a massive awareness and education programme started by President Yoweri Museveni and the Ministry of Health.

Lack of resources is an obvious challenge for many developing countries, although a great deal of aid is distributed throughout developing countries with high HIV/AIDS rates.  Every dollar counts, and it is amazing what just a little bit of money can accomplish.

I am currently applying for the Do Something Award, a highly popular, American-based charitable award that provides the Grand Prize Winner $100,000 to spend on their own initiative.  I passed the first phase of the application and I’m currently preparing my application for the second and final stage.  My project calls for teams of young people from Africa to teach AIDS prevention and education to children throughout the continent.

Students always respond more to young people their own age, and that’s the key to this project and its success.  I believe that this kind of education will engage and influence young people in Africa like never before, and lead to a sustainable decline in the AIDS epidemic throughout the continent.  For the last three years, I have spoken to dozens of organizations throughout Canada, raising funds for this program.  I firmly believe we will be able to start the project in Africa very soon – before it’s too late.

Author:Bilal Rajan

There is a famous saying that states “to be free, one must be chained”. However, how tightly someone should be chained is something worth debating. If voting was mandatory, those chains would leave no wiggle room whatsoever. Thanks to many distractions, people are indecisive, unaware and probably could not care less about the government. They need to wait until they are ready, before they can put the elections in jeopardy by voting for a party that does not have what it takes to lead a country efficiently.

No one will profit from mandatory voting; as a political party may lose potential votes because the voter was unaware of its policies. The voter themselves will be dissatisfied, since they did not grasp the importance of voting, and just assumed that it was a waste of their time; not knowing how much of a difference they made to that country. Lastly, the people who decided to vote willingly, will be disappointed that the ideal party lost; due to the random votes, and therefore,  the political system is damaged.

In addition, people rebel more when they are forced to do something, and parents of any teenager can confirm this. The citizens of Australia are another example, as it is known that they are required to vote. However, many of them make their votes invalid, refusing to make a decision without comprehending the policies of the various political parties, during that small amount of time that they have to stand in a voting booth.

The government needs to realize that by not voting, citizens are still sending a message that they may want, and/or need to be informed; if they are going to make the right decision that could affect the rest of the population. The 50% of citizens who decide that they would rather skip out on the elections could definitely make a difference. The government needs to educate them about the benefits of voting; instead of making a law that forces them to do something that they have yet to understand. This is why a compromise is the best solution, and if the government would like voting rates to go up, they need to do something about it; to satisfy the citizens. However, if one thinks about it, voting is the least of the government’s concerns. They need to worry about more pressing matters, as voting is not something that taxpayers’ money should be wasted on.

If those citizens refuse to take part in something, it is their choice. Forcing them to do something is a violation of their rights. People are taught to believe that a democracy is a type of government run by the will of the people; and if that majority decides not to vote, they are best left that way. If not, the government would seem like it was betraying its own principles. After all, voting should not be a duty; it should remain as a right. Many people fought for the right to vote and it would be a shame if their efforts were wasted by others that start fighting for the right to not vote.

Any questions, comments or concerns? Email me at ahyakamal@hotmail.com

Author:Ahya Kamal

I was in Islamabad when I got into a heated debate on the United States’ decadence and moral corruption with a gentleman who was nearing 60. He asked me what it feels like to live in North America, how people treat us, what are the living conditions like, is the government fair to us and so on. This gentleman, by the way, had lived in the United Kingdom in 1980s. He was convinced that the West and North America is no place for us to raise our kids; it’s full of evil and the governments there are liars.

I haven’t lived in North America for long – a few years in New York City and a few years in Mississauga. And I have nothing but good to say about the part of the world I live in. The US offered me the best education of the world; my professors were extremely encouraging. In fact they prodded my brain, challenged my views to think rationally but at no time did I feel that they are even slightly pushing me to give up my values or my culture. The debates with diverse groups in class make you more tolerant and open to listening to others’, an attribute we – the South Asians and Muslims -   absolutely need to learn. Just by living and interacting with Americans can at times make us humane.

My sisters and I, and many other girls could walk out of the class at ten at night, sometimes even later than that, without a tinge of fear that someone would pass a rude remark on us or that we are not safe here. I could wear hijab if I wanted to or shalwar kameez, and no one would look at me as if they were X-raying me. I have countless opportunities to grow provided I work hard. Yes there are isolated incidents of hatred or racism but then again we have come from the part of the world where Punjabis don’t like Sindhis and South Indians are not too familiar with North Indians or Beharis have something against Mardrasis, sunnis are up against shias, and wahabis have their differences with deobandis and so on. In fact after 62 years of living in Pakistan, some of us are still mahajir (migrants). Yes, occasionally, people might not sit next to me in New York City transit because I was wearing shalwar kammeez, but what’s the big deal! America and Canada gave me the freedom and the liberty to be who I am and no one can cherish these liberties better than  I can and hundreds of thousands of South Asians and Muslims like me.

I told all this and more to this gentleman but he wasn’t happy with my response at all. He tried to show me a different picture of the US, a picture where George Bush forced the troops on Iraq by lying about Saddam Hussain and the weapons of mass destruction to not only Americans but to the entire world. He tried to tell me how America has no respect of sovereignty of other countries and how she is killing people in Afghanistan and the northern areas of Pakistan using her pilotless planes. He tried to tell me how immoral and decadent the western societies are where our girls go off to marry the blacks and the whites; how our children and teenagers’ character is damaged by morally corrupt societies. Somehow he failed to see and appreciate everything I and many others like me love about North American and the Western societies. He also forgot to mention that Americans didn’t like Bush’s policies so they elected a Democrat as a President of the US. And that the UK’s Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will probably face an inquiry commission on Iraq.

Somehow this elderly gentleman’s views – which of course are the views of a very select group – have seeped into the minds of South Asians and Muslim young men and women living in North America. They have been born and bred in the most beautiful part of the world, they hold the US passport, yet they are getting terrorist training. They are going to Pakistan, Yemen and Syria to get military training and are legitimately coming back to the US – the scenario that has the US government concerned as it rightfully should. Ms. Anne Patterson, the American ambassador to Pakistan, believes this is a “nightmare scenario” about which a government cannot do a whole lot. She added “It’s not very many. But it’s hard to get a precise number,” Patterson said.

However, as a community we can and we should step up to help our governments.

Yes people especially youth are distraught with the US government’s lack of initiative on Palestine and its lies about Iraq, but can you – can anyone – think of a country where you can live so blissfully and criticize the governmental policies at the same time. Mind you, criticizing the policies is very different from criticizing the state that has given you everything.

Can you be critical of the government in Saudi Arabia, in Pakistan, in India? Human rights’ violation in Saudi Arabia is well documented, however very few people criticize the Saudi government. In fact many people associate criticizing Saudi practices with condemning Islam.

As a community, as parents and as teachers we need to be mindful and watchful of who our kids and our youth are interacting with, what their background is, what their views and ideology is and what are they preaching to our kids. Many of the imams in the community are not very knowledgeable even about the Quran and other revealed books of God; they know very little of sciences and literature and culture of other societies. We have to carefully see what our kids are being taught at Islamic schools. No one is saying anything against the religious studies, however being radicalized is dangerous, very dangerous for all of us. Remember Osama bin Laden was only one man and he has ruined the name of Islam and Muslims throughout the world. Our adults have grown up in the societies where tolerance, patience, respect for women and ideas is not very much appreciated. For them to live and raise kids in an open society where almost everything is up for debate and criticism is hard.

In addition to that we live in a virtual world where the information is out there for us to access, comprehending and grasping it is another story though. We live in a world where we can conquer hearts and minds of people through google, twitter, youtube, facebook and several other social networking sites. Violent acts, bombing buildings, shooting at people disgusts human nature at a very basic level. If you want to get your message across, use technology and your brain. We should be envious of Jews’ success in North America. They have made inroads into the society not by using guns but by using their minds and education. Jews can tell stories of how they were discriminated and racially targeted, yet they have succeeded by their hard work, and not by using guns. And so can we.

Thinking about harming such a country is mind boggling to the majority of people. Here in Canada, the Canadian government added the name of Al Shabaab in the list of terrorist organizations whose activities are banned in Canada. Al-Shabaab means the youth. According to official press release “The Government received reports from the Somali community that Al Shabaab has attempted to radicalize and recruit young Canadians. The listing of Al Shabaab will help the Government of Canada to better support the Somali community of Canada.”

If gentlemen like the one I got into an argument with is in any shape and form the mentor of our kids in North America, we should be beware of them. We have to teach our kids the blessings of the Western societies. And about that moral corruption part, it’s up to you to adopt it or leave it. We have this freedom too.

Author:Asma Amanat

What is Canadian Experience Class (CEC)?

Canadian Experience Class was introduced on September 2008, to facilitate the immigration process for temporary residents who are in Canada on study permit and work permits.

Who qualify under CEC?

• • a temporary foreign worker with at least two years of full-time (or equivalent) skilled work experience in Canada, or
  • a foreign graduate from a Canadian post-secondary institution with at least one year of full-time (or equivalent) skilled work experience in Canada

If someone meets the requirements to apply under the Canadian Experience Class but have since returned to their home country. Will they be eligible to apply under the Canadian Experience Class?

Yes, but you must apply within one year of leaving your job in Canada. If you left your job more than one year ago, your work experience is not recent and does not meet the requirement.

Does part-time work experience count toward meeting the requirements for work experience?

Yes, but it will take you longer to accumulate the amount of hours necessary to apply than an applicant who has worked full-time.

If someone wants to apply as a graduate, Can part-time work experience during their full-time studies in Canada be counted toward the one-year requirement?

No. Your work experience must be gained after graduation.

If someone wants to apply as a graduate. Does work experience that was part of their educational program’s requirements (such as Co-op terms and apprenticeships) count toward the one-year requirement?

No. Co-op terms and apprenticeships completed before graduating do not count as skilled work experience as they are considered part of an educational program. For this reason, co-op terms and apprenticeships are counted as part of the minimum two-year educational program requirement.

If someone has a one-year master’s degree (or one-year certificate) from a Canadian post-secondary educational institution. Will they be eligible to apply for permanent residence under the Canadian Experience Class?

Anyone accepted as a permanent resident under the Canadian Experience Class (based on their studies) has to have studied in Canada for at least two years.

Normally, this means you graduated with a Canadian post-secondary credential that requires at least two academic years of study, but there is one exception.

If you completed a one-year master’s (certificates and diplomas do not count with this exception), you would be eligible if you earned it after completing another program of at least one academic year in Canada. Both credentials must be obtained from a post-secondary institution recognized by the province. Each program must be completed within two years of each other.

If a person doesn’t have a total of two years of Canadian post-secondary education, are there any other options to apply to stay permanently under the Canadian Experience Class?

No. However, if you do not meet the requirements to apply as a graduate, you can position yourself to apply as a skilled temporary foreign worker. To do this, you must gain two years of skilled work experience.

Having completed a one-year post-secondary educational program in Canada, you qualify for a one-year open work permit under the Post-Graduation Work Permit program. You may use this permit to gain your first year of skilled work experience. This may lead to other employment opportunities toward gaining your second year. An employer may need to sponsor you for employment beyond your first year.

If someone have already submitted an application for permanent residence as a skilled worker (the traditional way to apply), can I still apply under this category?

Yes, but applicants are required to submit a new application with new fees.

If CIC has not started processing the skilled worker application, the applicant could withdraw it and may be entitled to a refund.

It is not forbidden to apply simultaneously with two different streams of the Economic Class.

However, the applicant will have to choose under which one the permanent resident status will be granted.

When a person has applied for temporary residence, they needed to have a medical exam to get my work or study permit. Why do they have to have another medical exam to apply for permanent residence from within Canada?

Since the reasons for medical exams for temporary and permanent residence are different, and because of the amount of time in between tests, you may have to undergo two medical exams—one for each application.

Some applicants, depending on where they lived, may have needed a medical exam to come to Canada temporarily. This medical exam would have verified that they pose no health risk to the Canadian public.

All applicants for permanent residence in economic categories must go through medical screening for the reason above in addition to verifying that neither they nor a family member would pose an excessive demand on Canada’s health, education and social systems.

Author:Manu Datta

Ever heard your parents say, “What are you going to do with a degree in History or English?” Ever faced the difficult junction of choosing between your passion and your parent’s South Asian advice to go for a degree in science as it gets you the money? Well, here’s the news for those who are passionate about the humanities, you do get a job and you do get a job that pays well.

In a career choosing series named From Backpacks to Briefcases at University of Toronto, three different speakers shared their tales of finding their glorified careers in the world of media.

Here are the Top 3 advices from the three speakers:

Aamer Haleem

Canadian TV and radio personality, Aamer Haleem earned his degree in History from UofT. With various experiences in broadcasting media, here is what Aamer had to share:

1. Talent vs. Perseverance

If you have the talent and you think that you will make it through then you are wrong. Talent alone won’t get you far. You need to be hard working and devote your hours and efforts to prove your worth. Perseverance and patience is always valued higher among employers. So, be thankful that you have the talent but prove your worth through your hard work.

1. Stick to your Principles

Aamer also advised that every time you take on a project, make sure that it stands by your principles, “I don’t smoke and I don’t endorse smoking either. I was given an opportunity to advertise a tobacco company and the amount they were paying me, really made the deal sound tempting. The money made it hard to decide but I had to ask myself, ‘what’s more important, the money or the principles?’ And let me tell you, stick to your principles and look at the long-term goals in your career. You don’t want to sell your principles for that tempting money deal.”

1. Get the Balance Right

In the world of media, your working hours are seldom 9 to 5. Your thoughts    revolve around your work and you are constantly thinking about various ideas to work on. But here is my final advice if you are considering that career path, “Make sure you know how to balance your life. Make sure your family is getting the time from you that they need and make sure you are making enough time for yourself to pursue other hobbies.”

__________________________

Stephanie Savage

Stephanie Savage is the co-creator and executive producer of Gossip Girl. She got into Hollywood when she least expected it. Here is her advice:

1. 1. Be Yourself!

Stephanie says that when she got into Flower Films, Drew Barrymore Production company, she did not match the glamorous environment of Hollywood. Her fashion sense and life style might have been out of place, but her education in Cinema Studies, passion for her work and her talents were right at home. She entered as an internee taking coffee orders and photocopying material and showed her seniors what she had got. Her talented suggestions in scripts got her to where she is now. She was appreciated for who she was.

1. 2. Show up, Shut-up and Shine

Stephanie also advises that once you enter the workforce, be patient and expect the worst. In her words, “Show up to work every day on time and let your superiors know that you are serious about this. No one wants to let go of someone who makes his or her life easy. Concentrate on your tasks, and take orders patiently when you are driven around. They are testing if you can survive under pressure. Your patience and persistence will finally give you a chance to shine.”

1. 3. Don’t Eat with your Cell Phone On the Table

Stephanie says that when she started work, cell phones were new in the market and they used to eat their lunches with their cell phones on the table, just to show off how important they were to their bosses. But don’t do that. Important people are not called, they call themselves. If you want to be high up there, then eat your lunch with others with your cell phone on the silent mode, which means, concentrate on the task at hand. Focus. Whosoever is calling, can wait a while.

_______________

Sharon McAuley

Sharon McAuley, the Vice-President, Group Publisher at St. Joseph Media, graduated with a B.A (hons) in English. With over 23 years of experience as a marketer and publisher, Sharon specializes in strategic brand and new business development of both trade and consumer magazines. This is her advice:

1. Smaller is Better

Sharon said that don’t be scared to work for small companies and organizations. These places give you an opportunity to do more, be more responsible and learn at a faster pace. So, take that opportunity and develop the skills.

1. Put Yourself in Other People’s Shoes

To succeed in magazine publishing, Sharon says that you have to think from many different perspectives. Think from the point of view of the reader and develop a product they want to read. Think from the point of view of the advertiser and reach out to the audience they want to target. You are the conduit that connects these sources. So put yourself in their shoes and you will know what your job is.

1. Following the Money

She finally advised that following money and hoping that it would lead you to your career path is an outdated strategy. Find your passion, your interest and discover your talent, money will follow you. Be good at what you do and you will make a good living. But she also added with a laugh, but if money is your driving force, then go for it.

Life is an interlock of twist and turns – a mere existence in the social jungle where the fittest survives. If you happen to be married in a household, where the old lady has kept a tight leash and is not very acquiescent, then finding your way through the murky morass can be a really tough expedition. Compromise, and all the words that cling to the verb, tends to spook the South Asian bride. How much should she give in? Or should she give in at all? After all, she’s educated, financially independent and if need be, can stand on her own.

So why compromise?

Independent mentality: Mira Shah, a newlywed from Brampton says “Today’s urban women have financial independence and a tendency to live on their own terms. According to a market research for every hundred men opting for higher studies there are sixty eight female counterparts doing the same. There’s gender competition right from a daily wage basis laborer to premiership of the nation! There’s a long queue of female jobseekers in the online job portals. Out of all these above-mentioned facts, it’s quite evident that today’s women are ready to take up the challenge of balancing their respective careers and family. Hence, the demands of their profession and tension of managing a family are eventually draining them off the patience they used to have earlier to face ardent criticism from their mother-in-laws back home, and thus all hell breaks loose. The face of South Asian women is never the same again,” she retaliates. Thus, the struggle of supremacy starts…

Desired profiles of  (Mother-in-Laws) MIL’s – Today`s majority of socialite working women are not willing to stay with their mother-in-laws, and rather they prefer a separate pad for the married couple. To, have a glimpse of the matter, taking a look upon the marriage packages offered in many of the Shaadi portals, today, the most lucrative, on-demand and expensive are the ones that doesn’t include the eventual prospect (danger) of a mother-in-law. What if, she exists?

“Relationship between MIL’s and their daughter-in-laws has always been very complex for an outsider to understand. Only, if you keenly observe the processes at home you’ll be able to feel it,” says Priti Gupta, a Process Developer at Bell.

Mentality of MIL’s  – “The main reason for clash between me and my MIL is her possessive nature. Since most of the families today are nuclear ones, a mother’s complete focus goes on upbringing of her children. Since, traditionally in our society the head of the family, i.e., the father of the child is away at work place for most of the time in a day, the child finds an emotional vent through her mother and forms a bond of intimate friendship. This emotion turns into bossism when the son gets married. Eventually the MIL thinks that she has an authority over her daughter in law. Mainly, non-working mother-in-laws find the family as an only place to prove their might and intimidate the meekly newcomer girl to their house hold as to who is the boss.   But things have changed! There’s competition in every field between the males and their female counterparts. So the question of compromise does not exist,” says Priti.

The bitterness in the relationship initiates from here. Initially, the daughter-in-law tries her best to compromise but as time goes on, she refuses to agree with the tantrums of the mother-in-law.

“Now let me talk about daughter in law’s psyche,” says Deepti Kaur, Marriage Counselor from Brampton.  “When I was newly married my mother in law was busy being possessive about my husband. But I was also smart enough to understand that wife and husbands’ relation involves physicality. My MIL considered this as a dangerous as well as a weakening factor in the fight  between us. But just like all other wives I was clever enough to take the advantage of this factor to score over her. When any daughter in law uses this factor to score over her mother-in-law in a day-to-day basis, the opponent party starts sledging, quite literally. The MIL often interrupts or prevents the couple to be close and pass comment upon her son mimicking manhood as she feels, her son is henpecked and being governed by a lady, his wife.”

This proves that “In the closest relationships of one’s life compromise is a very ill-fitting word. There is no space for compromise,” says Deepti.

Does the complexity and grave quotient of this conflict even beat the cold war between the Pentagon and the Kremlin? Will they forever be in war? This conflict of power and jealousy within a family actually harms the child of the family who is been deprived of equal love from both of the parties at war.

So what do you think? Is the ‘husband’ the real victim in this saas-bahu (daughter-mother in law) war or does the daughter-in-law deserve our sympathies and support?

Author: Ramya Maheshwary

The activist roar is that the individual is being stifled, the individual we are being led to never meet. We never meet this individual because of the cultural shackles we are arrested in: we reject pluralism, the possibility of being both. We see only one mode of being and this is a tragedy to our societal dynamics. I am sure you know what I am hinting at – the essentialist, elitist belief of one’s identity as fixed.

Coming from a South Asian background I have been bombarded from birth with the atoms of good and evil and the different being (the non-conformist) is always seen as evil. The morals underneath all discourse on existence always warns against evil and

The possibility of being different is always downplayed. Perhaps, I am guilty of generalizing and perhaps I am guilty as charged: the pint of truth is sufficient enough, for all those of you who have been pushed to Canada by the diasporic wave know very well that when living on the hyphen, the world of the other becomes no longer evil. It has been an year now since I jumped off the boat after sailing into Canadian waters. I am roughly an year old as a Torontonian and prior to docking here, I received hours of lectures attempting to immunize me from the dangers of an alien culture. Regardless to say, the immunization wore off the moment I stepped foot on local soil and on a daily basis I have been jolted by the social animal’s best teacher, culture shock or more simply said, experience!

Upon entering the space of the diaspora, I realized my location on a hyphen – I noticed that I was within reach of two worlds, one of which was the world of the different. The hyphen began to manifest its power and the warnings of the world of the bubble burst instantly. The new space brought experience to my senses and I began to roam free in the spaces I was warned about.

Amongst the many warnings I got about coming to Toronto, one that was stressed on specifically was to stay away from the Downtown region after sunset. I never quite knew how factual these warnings were but many a people warned me of a dangerously dark side to Toronto’s Downtown once darkness set in. At first I thought I would obediently heed and never dare to be within smelling distance of the Downtown region once Toronto’s part timing sun was not around. Until I positioned myself on the hyphen. I decided to take on the experience: I took a bite of the forbidden fruit. I decided to live on the hyphen and experience the possibility of passing in and out of foreign territory: what I experienced brought me to realize the positive power of realization the land of the hyphen offered.

A long story short, but I was shacking up at an acquaintance’s place in downtown for the night and suddenly I felt an urge to go on a stroll alone, two hours before midnight. And I am glad to say the urge was worth all the sweet guilt.

I do not quite recall where I walked or what street I strolled across, but I remember my eyes staying fixed to my surroundings and my hands glued to my pockets in nervous anticipation of the worse. I heard about the drinking, the drugs and the danger yet I still chose to bite the fruit knowing fully well that I was challenging death. I had the fear of downtown embedded deep inside me but like every crazy explorer, I just went on. And am I glad I did, because I realized what the fear really was.

Toronto’s Downtown is a tribute to a human at is most natural – there is the drunk and dazed, the sober and serene, the wild and wacky. Each person I took a glance at was being his or her self. And this was the fear – this is what made Toronto’s Downtown the forbidden fruit to even taste for it gives you a taste of what life would be like if each person would simply do his/her own thing! There was something to the night that simply showed the reality of the savage being and so called uncivilized.

The tall buildings looked like the authority that governs us all and the night sky simply darkened any of their influence. Each person was his/her own and I got a taste of a world with people being individuals. The individual acts to his/her own rules and this is exactly what I was not being let to see: a world with no rules.

This power of passing and being able to enter spaces comes as a gift to those on the hyphen. Indeed, the problems of epidermalization nag my hyphenated South Asian being, but far from being negatively critical of the hyphen, I have begun to see its uses. It is awesome to be where your kind has never been before; it is an experience that makes a stranger no more so and it is only in this ability to pass that we can learn to accept and appreciate the different strokes of the folks of the world.

Author: Ali Abbas

Does it seem that you are working so hard and you have been so patient but it seems like nothing is happening in your life? Then there comes a moment when the one you have been praying to is called into question.  You question god and ask, why god, why? You become disappointed and tell god, I do the right things, I don’t hurt anybody and I have been so obedient but why am I suffering?  Why are other people getting things easier than me?  Why am I going through all these hardships?

I am in the same situation as some of you right now and I ask god with tears, why, why do I have to get hurt and when god, when?

Everyone’s situations and struggles are different, we all are waiting for different things, different situations in our life to change or happen.  Some of us are waiting to meet the right person for marriage, some of us for the right job, and some of us for change in our life, and we are holding on with everything we have and nothing seems to happen. For some of us years have passed and for some of us, who have been so obedient to god and walk with faith and things are not changing, we question things more.

I found my lost faith when I went with a coworker to hallmark as she wanted to get a graduation card. I picked up a card that said; “God is refining you with experiences and situations that you are going through so you can be a precious stone.” I found my answer where I was least expecting it.

I don’t know why you may be going through what you are going through but I can tell you one thing that I speak from experience that has helped me. Life is full of surprises, and sometimes we go through things that we don’t desire and that causes us suffering but dear ones, seek faith because when we are suffering and have faith, it doesn’t seem like suffering. You won’t worry as much, you are walking with faith and confidence that god will take care of you. It’s hard I know especially in the beginning, but believe me, life is harder without god and faith…

Try living your life this way and u will see what I am saying is true. Its easy to preach and say things but till you don’t live your life this way, you can’t really understand this. I speak with confidence trying to live this way. It really works.  I am still a beginner in faith but the joy I have received here is far greater than anything else. It’s not what the world can give, its internal peace/joy. I have my days where I don’t understand god and his ways but you know what, gods ways & thoughts are much higher than mine, it will all fall into place. I walk with that confidence even though I stumble. Each time I stumble, I pray and god fills my heart letting me know that he is in control.

Author:Richa Singh is a motivational speaker