I had a monster in my head, screaming at me to not eat. It was tough, and the monster took over me. I was not me. I ate nothing; I worked out all the time.

 The biggest disappointment and sadness in my life was my eating disorder. This is my biggest disappointment because it almost ruined my life. My eating disorder was obviously very unhealthy and my horrific thoughts led me to it. I kept on thinking about losing weight and it started out with thoughts in my head when I started comparing my body to others. I convinced myself to starve for a whole day and that’s where it began. To me, my decision felt safe and good. I would not eat like before. I started on a secret and innocent little dieting. My eating disorder started in December 2012 when I was 16.

I began skipping meals, eating very less when asked to, and being obsessed with every calorie intake of mine. The results came slowly forward. I was happy when I lost my first few pounds, looked at myself in the mirror and still didn’t feel perfect. No matter how much weight I lost, it was never enough. I would exercise more than I ate which caused me to have really low blood pressure. I purged very rarely but during my trip to Pakistan in December, I purged for three days straight and it led me to dehydration at a mall, and I passed out for a few minutes. I was constantly looking up ways to lose weight. I had many symptoms such as always feeling cold, dizziness when I would stand up, and mood swings. 

Pounds after pounds, I started to feel more confident and better. It gave me strength, to be thin. I was obsessed with taking pictures of myself, to see how thin I was. The mirror always lied to me. My best friend, my parents and siblings noticed how I was losing weight really fast in a short period of time. Soon, my teachers started noticing too. I had a monster in my head, screaming at me to not eat. It was tough, and the monster took over me. I was not me. I ate nothing; I worked out all the time. 

Sometimes I would just try to forget about my eating disorder for a little while and try to eat normally. I would feel really guilty afterwards for eating and it would cause me a lot of stress. The stress often led me to sleepless nights just worrying about the food I ate and “If it would make me fat.”

Next, what really scared me was that my weight started dropping really fast and I became underweight. It didn’t look good at all because my bones and rib cage started showing. My cousin told me how her friend was into a similar situation as mine and how she ate really less. Her friend found out that she couldn’t have children in the future. This really hit me, because I love kids and not having my own in the future would probably break me. Thankfully, by the end of March 2013 I was recovering from my eating disorder. I feel so blessed to have such amazing, supportive and caring family; friends and teachers in my life who helped me realize how unhealthy this was. If I continued it any longer I would have probably ended up at rehabs, hospitals waiting for death. 

To get to recovery, I started sharing my guilty thoughts and feelings with my parents, my uncle and my best friend. I started telling them how I felt and they would always know what the right thing was to say and how to calm me down. I’m so thankful for these people because honestly, they have helped me recover and get out of my life’s biggest crisis. What really opened my eyes towards recovery was seeing my best friend. Literally, everyday during recovery, when I came to school feeling depressed, my thoughts and depression would go away when I would see her. She helped me realize not to care about the negatives in life, or to not let my insecurities control me. She helped me understand that I should live life to the fullest. She inspired me. My best friend motivated me even more towards recovery. 

My mom and her brother also really helped me through my eating disorder. My uncle kind of became my counsellor. He would ask me to call him whenever I had those dreadful thoughts so he can help clear my mind. He made me aware of how harmful this was for me and of all the consequences which really opened my eyes. He said things like “If you continue, you will not be able to have children in the future”, and that “There is a high risk of diabetes.” During recovery I also started looking at positive affirmations and reading recovery stories and quotes to encourage myself like my uncle asked me to. 

I am very proud of myself for beating Anorexia Nervosa. This is not easy at all but I definitely made my way through recovery. I’m happy that I am over with that torturous lifestyle. I feel blessed to have such considerate people in my life who I love more than words can express for being there for me. Without them I wouldn’t have been able to beat this disease.

This experience was shared with Generation Next by a reader who requested anonymity.

It’s about all of us. It’s about everyone in the South Asian community. It’s about that Auntie on the street, it’s about that girl over there, it’s about you.”

 Billal Sarwar

 Toronto

 Every year Brown Man Clothing Co., the South Asian themed t-shirt company, holds a modelling contest attracting literally hundreds of applicants. This year the finalists were whittled down to: seventeen elegant, stunning women, nine handsome, dashing men, and also me.

 While Brown Man Clothing Co. prides itself on having its finger on the pulse of young Desis, this was the least authentic South Asian event I have ever attended: everyone was on time, the staff was extremely professional, and no one, apart from me, was creepily checking out the models (How you doin’ Vinita. Holla girl!).

 Arriving at their Mississauga studio, I was politely greeted, offered light refreshments, and asked for my t-shirt size. I went into the changing room, and slipped on the selected, medium, brown graphic tee. I strolled out and was directed to head down a short hallway and turn right for hair and makeup. Thus far the atmosphere was subdued and tame. However, the spacious hair and make-up room provided a stark contrast; this is definitely where the party was at. The room was filled with models being carefully styled and polished by experts from Adaa Artistry Inc. and the Fiorio Beauty Academy.

 The encompassing space was so full of activity my presence was barley noticed. Sat in the waiting area, I picked up a magazine and pretended to flip through the pages while quietly observing. The models selected for the shoot varied widely in terms of body type. Similar to those of American Apparel, these models, while attractive, also retained an element of authenticity and realness. However, unlike the models of American Apparel, both hair and make-up artists were able to construct some unique aesthetic designs and original looks.

 Faisal Tahseen, the owner of Brown Man Clothing Co., entered the model prep room looking simultaneously excited and busy. However, he still managed to recognize me instantly despite the fact that we had never met in person. I wasn’t sure how to feel about Faisal. Being raised in a Pakistani home, I implicitly learned to have a mild distrust of Pakistanis who were (a) Business men (b) Politicians, or (c) Played for the Pakistani National cricket team. Of course there are exceptions that prove the rule, or as Pakistanis call him, “Imran Khan.” I decided then and there that maybe Faisal Tahseen was an exception too.

 Led by Faisal, together we entered a third less cluttered room which resembled a large empty garage or loading station. Several models, including the women of the Samsara dance group, looked thoroughly at home posing together against black and white back-drops in vibrant, vivid attire. Easily visible from this room was the outdoor portion of the studio where models posed against props which included: an ice-cream van owned by Faisal’s childhood friend Bradley, a car that resembled a powder blue 1964 Buick Skylark, as well as other outdoor urban and industrial materials and backdrops.

 All models were asked to try on 3 pieces which meant I had time in between shoots to see how other models were getting along. For some, this was obviously a totally new experience which reflected itself in stiffness or a slightly confused, embarrassed look when a photographer would say something like, “just have fun with it.” Soni Dhingra, who recently graced the cover of Punjab’s “Musclejeet Monthly,” summarized the sentiment felt by most models, “it’s really all about having fun and enjoying yourself.” I should point out that Soni is the half-man, half-continent lifting me over his head.

 Eventually, I was able to interview Brown Man owner Faisal Tahseen on one of his rare oxygen breaks. To ensure we had more privacy, Faisal suggested that we conduct the interview inside the on-set ice-cream truck. I enthusiastically agreed, and entered the treat-filled van with the older gentleman I had only just met.

 Faisal, born in Karachi; Pakistan, was raised in a then predominantly white Scarborough by parents he describes as, “just the opposite of strict.” Although he struck me as an unadulterated businessman, Faisal explains that Brown Man Clothing Co. was an outlet through which he could express his creative side; in actual fact, the sentiment behind the clothing line runs much deeper.

  Faisal was raised in an environment largely devoid of any South Asian contact. This did lend itself, naturally, to encounters of racism, but more so to a deprivation of cultural heritage. More than a way of interacting with the South Asian community, Brown Man was a way to “understand and know the South Asian community,” Faisal explains.

  In a similar vein, Faisal describes Brown Man Clothing Co. in overarching terms beyond that of marketing, sales and design; “Brown Man isn’t about me. It’s about all of us. It’s about everyone in the South Asian community. It’s about that Auntie on the street, it’s about that girl over there, it’s about you.”

 The modeling may have ended, but the contest continues at www.brownmanclothing.com where you, YES YOU, can vote on which model you think did it best. The site is filled with picture after picture of attractive Desis who would never talk to you in real life let alone bestow upon you the gift of eye contact. You know what I mean? They’re like the kind of people you would stalk on Facebook. You see a profile picture and you think, “Well, hello there.” Then, before you know it, you’ve gone through several vacation birthday, and club albums, and only manage to stop after catching a glimpse of yourself reflected in the screen of your monitor. You’re sobered by the shame as your mind quantum leaps to a future where your only romantic relations are cats that you’ve given bollwoodeque names like CATrina CATf and AshMEOWriya. So just be “normal” and visit the site.

 Twitter: @iambillal

The couple is setting off for the UK this week and rumour is they will be house hunting as well That Ajay Devgn and Kajol are headed to London for a holiday is known. However, rumours now doing the rounds are that the vacation is going to last for no less than a month, reason being Ajay has plans to buy a house there.

There are whispers in the industry that it’s a very large property, and can be termed a mansion. Buzz is

the discussions have almost reached the final stage. Apparently, Ajay’s close associate and producer, Kumar Mangat, will be joining the star couple in London sometime next week. A source told TOI, “Kajol and Ajay love London. They’ve been nursing a desire to buy property in the historic city for the longest time.”

Once in Mumbai, Ajay plans to start shooting for Prabhu Dheva’s next, followed by Rohit Shetty’s Singham 2. While a friend of Ajay called to say he has neither struck a property deal in the UK nor has any such plans — and the couple would be staying in a five star in London, a source very close to Kajol confirmed the story.

Mumbai: Film producers have resorted to newer and unique ways to promote their films in the recent times. And the makers of ‘Zindagi 50-50’ starring Pakistani starlet Veena Malik and Rajan Verma, aren’t any different. Veena, who gained publicity post her infamous ‘Bigg Boss’ stint opted for a rather bizarre way to promote her upcoming flick that promises a number of steamy scenes. She plays a prostitute in the film.

The controversial actress wore a seductive look while posing for photographs during the film promotion at Kamathipura, a red light area. She even distributed condoms to the sex workers and also interacted with them.

Veena was wearing denim shorts and a jacket and a red crop top that left little to imagination. Talking about ‘Zindagi 50-50’, Veena had earlier said, “I love shooting in all those sexy bikinis. It will be one of my boldest photo shoots for the character Madhuri which is realistic rather than bold. This is a true story of a girl. I have given more than my hundred percent thanks to Madhuri, the character I am playing.” Veena rose to fame after her appearance on Indian TV reality show ‘Bigg Boss’ season 4 and her alleged involvement with her co-in-mate Ashmit Patel. She had also posed nude for a magazine that triggered controversy in her home country, Pakistan.

Water may be fun for children to play with — but it can also be deadly. Consider these water-safety tips for pools, natural bodies of water and household hazards.

Residential swimming pools and spas

Multiple layers of protection can help ensure water safety and prevent drowning in a home pool or spa. If you have a pool or hot tub, follow all local safety ordinances. Also consider these general water-safety tips:

• Fence it in. Surround your pool with a fence that’s at least 4 feet (1.2 meters) tall. Make sure slatted fences have no gaps wider than 4 inches (10.2 centimeters), so kids can’t squeeze through. Avoid chain-link fences, which can be easy for children to climb. Install self-closing and self-latching gates with latches that are beyond a child’s reach.
• Install alarms. If your house serves as part of your pool enclosure, protect any doors leading to the pool area with an alarm. Add an underwater pool alarm that sounds when something hits the water. Make sure you can hear the alarm inside the house.
• Block pool and hot tub access. Use a rigid, motorized safety cover to block access to the pool when it’s not in use. Secure a cover on hot tubs as well. Empty inflatable pools after each use. Don’t allow water to collect on top of the pool or hot tub cover. Remove aboveground pool steps or ladders or lock them behind a fence when the pool isn’t in use.
• Teach children to swim. Most children can learn to swim at about age 5 — but know that swimming lessons won’t necessarily prevent a child from drowning.
• Remove toys. Don’t leave pool toys in the water. A child may fall into the water while trying to retrieve a toy.
• Keep your eyes peeled. Never leave children unsupervised near a pool or hot tub. During social gatherings, adults who know how to swim can take turns being the “designated watcher.” Don’t rely on air-filled or foam toys, such as water wings, noodles or inner tubes, to keep children safe.
• Beware of drains. Don’t allow children to play near or sit on pool or hot tub drains. Body parts and hair may become entrapped by the strong suction. Use drain covers, and consider installing multiple drains to reduce the suction.
• Keep emergency equipment handy. Store a safety ring with a rope beside the pool. Make sure you always have a phone in the pool area.

Swimming conditions can be unpredictable in lakes, rivers and oceans. Water depth can change rapidly, as can water temperature, currents and the weather. Murky water may conceal hazards. Follow these water-safety tips:

• Don’t swim alone. Never allow children to swim alone or without adult supervision.
• Wear a life jacket. Children should wear personal flotation devices whenever riding in a boat or fishing. An air-filled swimming aid isn’t a substitute for a life jacket.
• Feet first. The first descent into any body of water should be a jump — feet first. Before the jump, check water depth and temperature and look for underwater hazards.
• Stay in designated areas. At public beaches, swim only in areas set aside for swimming. Don’t allow children to swim in drainage ditches or other water-filled areas not intended for swimming.
• Beware of thin ice. Drowning can occur in the winter, too. Avoid walking, skating or riding on weak or thawing ice.

Toilets, bathtubs and buckets

The water in common household items can be dangerous for young children. A baby can drown in just 1 inch (2.5 centimeters) of water. A curious toddler can fall into a toilet, bucket or fish tank. Taking these precautions can help:

• Keep the bathroom door closed. Install a safety latch or doorknob cover on the outside of the door.
• Supervise bath time. Never leave a child alone in the bathtub or in the care of another child. Drain water from the tub immediately after use.
• Shut toilet lids. Install childproof locks on toilet lids.
• Store buckets safely. Empty buckets and other containers immediately after use. Don’t leave them outside, where they may accumulate water.

New Delhi: Kareena Kapoor and Ajay Devgn, who have done movies like ‘Omkara’ and ‘Golmaal Returns’ and the yet-to-release ‘Satyagraha’, will reportedly team up again for an untitled project to be produced by fashion designer Shabinaa Khan. According to a tabloid, Khan is eager to cast the duo for her upcoming film, which is rumoured to be co-produced by Sanjay Leela Bhansali,

“Shabinaa is in the process of signing Ajay Devgn. Details of the film are being tightly kept under wraps but the script has been locked in and a director is being penciled in. The project will go on the floors early 2014,” a source said.

Khan, who is a close friend of Kareena, has already approached the stars for the movie. “As Shabinaa is a close friend of Kareena, she is keen to have her on board and she has given her nod to the project,” the source added. Not only this, the designer also shares a great bond with the ‘Singham’ star. “Shabinaa shares a great equation with Ajay Devgn too. This project might also be co-produced by Sanjay Leela Bhansali. Although she is also designing for several stars, Shabinaa now wants to focus on making films,” the source concluded. Well, this news must be a treat for both Kapoor and Devgn fans!

NeW Delhi: Veena Malik – who makes headlines for her bold acts on and off screen – has openly revealed her thoughts on what other people think about her and her image in Bollywood. When asked by a leading daily about the reason why she is looked at more critically than others even when everyone in the film industry exposes, she said “That is something that even I have been trying to decode. Why do people talk about me all the time? I have not done anything that others haven`t. Am I the only one to wear a bikini, or to kiss on screen or for that matter give a backless shot in my films? So many actresses, even A-listers, have done all this. Then why only I`m being targeted? I am really puzzled about this.”

On being put in the same level as Sherlyn Chopra, Poonam Pandey and Rozlyn Khan already are, she said “Well, it`s totally unfair to compare me with them. I am not a porn star. I have never given a frontal nude shot. People always misunderstand this. There is a difference between a backless scene and a frontal nude scene. I don`t understand why people compare me with them.” The controversial actress – who forayed into Bollywood with item numbers – is all set to wow the audience with her acting skills in ‘Zindagi 50-50’, which will hit theatres May 24, 2013.

London: Kim Kardashian has posted a sexy cleavage revealing pre-pregnancy picture on her Instagram, as she gets in the new Twitter trend for sharing retro snaps called `Flashback Friday`. The 32-year-old starlet`s latest pic is from her pre-baby bump days, where she can be seen pressing against Kanye West, who can`t help but stare at her ample cleavage, the Mirror reported.

Kim can be seen wearing skimpy red leather hot pants and crop top with scarlet hair extensions and a glossy pout in the image. The couple`s pic was taken in 2011, on the set of the video for the occasional actress` flop single Jam, when it was claimed that the pair were `just friends`.

1. Straying Too Much From Routines

Consistency is key for preschoolers, says pediatrician Tanya Remer Altmann, author of Mommy Calls: Dr. Tanya Answers Parents’ Top 101 Questions about Babies and Toddlers.

When you’re not being consistent with your routine, preschoolers get confused and may act out more or throw more temper tantrums. Altmann says, “If sometimes you let them do something and sometimes you don’t, they don’t understand.”

Your child probably wants to know why last time Mommy let her play on theplayground for 10 minutes when school got out but this time wants her to get in the car right away. Or why did Mommy laid down with her for 10 minutes last night while she fell asleep but now says she can’t.

Fix it: Be consistent across the board — whether it’s with discipline, sleep habits, or mealtime routines.

Altmann says if your routine is consistent 90% of the time and your child is doing well, then so are you, and a minor exception may be OK.

2. Focusing on the Negative

It’s easy to hone in on your child’s negative actions — like yelling and screaming — and ignore the good ones.

Altmann says parents tend to focus on what they don’t want their preschoolers to do. “They’ll say, ‘Don’t hit. Don’t throw. Don’t say ‘poopy pants,’” she says.

Fix it: Notice when your child is doing something positive, and reward the good behavior.

3. Missing the Warning Signs

Parents often try to reason with children when they’re in the throes of a temper tantrum, repeating, “Calm down, calm down.” But that’s like trying to reason with a goldfish, Borba says. “You’ve got power immediately beforehand when you can still distract or anticipate. But once the tantrum is in full force, you’ve lost it. The kid is not hearing you.”

Fix it: Figure out and anticipate what your kid’s natural warning signs are, Borba says. The usual ones are hunger, fatigue, and boredom.

4. Encouraging Whining

Does your child’s whining drive you crazy? For instance, does it drive you up the wall when, right before dinnertime while getting ready to preparing food, your child starts crying, “I wanna go to the park,” or “I wanna go play with Riley.”

Borba says parents often give in to these whines, but this only reinforces the attention-getting behavior. Your child will figure out which buttons to push and then push them over and over again.

“This is the age when your children come out of their shells,” she says. “Watch out, because they figure out what works.”

Fix it: Ignore it.

5. Overscheduling Your Child

Parents often line up a slew of activities, like dance or music classes. Then they wonder why their child isn’t getting in bed and falling asleep right away after so many activities that must have made her tired.

Fix it: Don’t overschedule your child or shuttle him from one activity to the next. Give your child time to unwind with free play when he gets home from school.

6. Underestimating the Importance of Play

Many parents feel they should sign their children up for enrichment programs to give them an edge. But that’s not really the case.

What’s most enriching at this age, says psychologist Lawrence J. Cohen, author ofPlayful Parenting, is free play. That includes dramatic play (make believe), rough housing, and goofing around.

“Free play is how children’s brains develop best,” he says. “In play, children will naturally give themselves the right amount of challenge — not too easy or too hard.”

Fix it: Allow your child time and space for free play. Remember that preschoolers define play as “what you do when you get to choose what to do.”

Free choice — the voluntary aspect of play — is important, Cohen says. “Preschoolers love to vacuum or do housework, but it’s play. It’s not on their chore list. They’ve chosen to do it and they’re just doing it for fun,” he says.

7. Getting Distracted By the Daily Grind

Your child may play well independently, but that doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t crave your attention. “There’s something children miss out on if parents don’t get on the floor and play with them,” Cohen says.

Not only do parents not get down and play, many parents are too easily distracted by their cell phone, email, or other multitasking. “Kids aren’t dumb,” Cohen says. “They know whether we’re really paying attention or not.”

Fix it: Set a timer, be enthusiastic, and stay involved for your designated play period with your child.

“A half an hour of concentrated play where you give your undivided attention and you’re not worried about dinner or work,” Cohen says, “is better than all day when you’re only half paying attention.”

8. Overreacting to Lies

Cohen says lying really freaks parents out. He urges parents to see the behavior as experimenting rather than as “a moral thing.”

“When children start to lie, it’s a big cognitive advance,” he says. “It’s kind of exciting and a little bit scary. It has an emotional charge. But then parents freak out and have visions of their child in prison, so they get very tense and anxious about it.”

Fix it: Don’t overreact. Know that telling a fib or two is a normal part of your child’s development.

And don’t get hung up on the lie itself, Cohen says. For instance, if your little Pinocchio is denying he had anything to do with a spill, you can say matter-of-factly, “You feel bad about that and I understand.”

http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/parenting-preschoolers-mistakes?page=3

New Delhi: After being claimed too provocative by the Censor Board of Pakistan, ekta Kapoor’s ‘Shooutout at wadala’ has now offended the group called ‘Bhartiya Valmiki Dharam Samaj’, so much so that many theatres in North Indian cities like Ludhiana,Jalandhar, Bathinda, Amritsar and Moga has cancelled the movie screening. According to a leading daily, the John Abraham starrer action drama movie contains two dialogues which has rubbed the community in the wrong way. “we have already sent legal notices to producer of the film, ekta Kapoor, and director Sanjay Gupta. They should think twice before saying anything against Valmikiji.

These dialogues could have serious repercussions in whole nation,” Laxman Dravid-National Director of the community said. The community members have demanded some offensive scenes to be censored, only after which they will approve the screening of the movie. “In one dialogue, an actor has used wrong language for Valmikiji by saying har chor valmiki nahi hota and in other dialogue John Abraham says eklavya ne angutha dia tha, main poora haath de dunga. Once these are censored, we have no objection to the movie,” Deepak Hans, President of Dr Ambedkar ekta Mission said.